


Puella Magi Virum Magica

by Lightbringer34



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Prototype (Video Games)
Genre: Other, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25253341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightbringer34/pseuds/Lightbringer34
Summary: Alex Mercer is the ultimate killing machine. He has no soul, no remorse. Neither does Kyubey. A case of mistaken identity proves to unlock new possibilities for both the sentient Blacklight virus and the Incubators
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Dana Mercer
Comments: 10
Kudos: 18





	Puella Magi Virum Magica

It could be argued that someone like Alex Mercer did not have good days, only less bad days. The sentient virus had a good day when he was able to eat a troublesome Blackwatch target without being seen, caught someone from his mental web of intrigue, the sociopathic and selfish scientists and soldiers whose stupidity had led to his own creation, and the supervirus that had ravaged Manhattan. That had been the worst of all his bad days, to be sure.

Not that today was turning out much better. He’d been shot twice by a thermobaric cannon, painful, burning that clawed its way through his hardened exterior of biomass and forced him to regenerate cells on the fly rather that destroy the offending piece of military hardware. If anything, as he ran up the side of an apartment block, bullets and Stinger missiles streaming past him, Alex was affronted.

He was Alex Mercer, the sentient Blacklight virus, codenamed ZEUS by the military cordon that had swept in to deal with the infection. King of the Gods, a title well deserved, he thought. His fists could crush tanks, his tendrils of biomass had sent dozens of helicopters spinning to their fiery demise. He could consume a man and know all the little details of his life instantly, from his brother’s birthday to the password to an encrypted computer system. The world had not seen his like before, and never would again.

He flipped easily over the edge of the roof, a stray missile blasting a chunk of concrete away behind him. As much as he loved his headlong assaults on Blackwatch, the dog-kicking, psychopathic elite of the anti-virus forces, he supposed stealth was called for. Mentally flicking through the hundreds of memories and minds he’d consumed, he searched for the perfect disguise, something no Marine or tank commander would think to shoot on suspicion. A memory caught his eye.

A young girl, pre-adolescent age, with bright blonde hair and a slightly crooked smile. A Marine’s sister, from the summer of 2005, less than a year ago. A smile spread across Alex’s face, cold and terrifying, though the pleasure he felt was genuine. Almost a perfect disguise, though he was sure Blackwatch would put a bullet in him anyways, they were sick bastards like that. Shrugging, and accepting that this was as close to a pro bono escape as he was going to get, the Blacklight virus transformed.

A ripple of black and red tendrils crawled across his body, replacing his tall, blue-eyed predatory default face with the short, acne-tinged body of an adolescent human. His favorite black leather jacket and hood was replaced by a pair of jeans and a bright yellow tank top. Not that he was wearing actual clothes, it was simply another covering of his biomass, shifted into a form similar to clothes, but it was the thought that counted, he supposed. Humans cared about the strangest things, even in the middle of a rebuilding New York.

As he slid down the far side of the apartment complex, ignoring the Marines frantically searching the air behind him, Alex Mercer began to list the things he found strange about the humans of New York.

  1. If a human had no clothes on, they would become upset. If a human had few clothes on, they wouldn’t be upset, but would instead mutter and gossip behind their back, spreading lies or rumors about the individual’s sexual promiscuity. (Disguising himself as a streetwalker only to run into two Hunters in a back alley had not been fun, but the pimp’s expressions when he tore the hunters in half was worth it.)
  2. Humans would sometimes refuse to move when Alex was driving a stolen tank down the street. They would stand there quivering, as the massive weight of iron and technology bore down on them. Sometimes other pedestrians would drag them out of the way, other times they would run at the last moment, but more often than not, Alex would simply drive over them. It was, he mused, their own fault for not moving.



All in all, Alex surmised, his camouflaged face moving into a pout, humans were irrational creatures that, even after eating the minds of several PhDs, he still didn’t understand. Shrugging his tank-top enclosed shoulders, Alex set off down the streets of New York on his original mission, before the tank had blown him out of the sky: Get groceries for his sister Dana.

When Alex emerged from the grocery store in downtown Manhattan, he was finally beginning to enjoy this dim, drizzling, Thursday afternoon. After he obediently dropped off the groceries, the Blacklight virus was going on a vacation. With the virus finally contained into a last few hives, to be destroyed or studied by Blackwatch, and with the military cordon loosening enough for news crews, Red Cross agents, and refugees to be allowed into the city, Alex was running out of things to do. His plan, if it could be called that, was to travel to Washington DC, eat his way up the chain of command to the real decision-makers, and hammer out (literally if necessary) some form of cease-fire between himself and Blackwatch.

While he could go on hunting, killing, and consuming for the rest of eternity if he wanted to, Alex was rational enough to realize that having NYC become a permanent battlefield between himself and Blackwatch wasn’t an optimal solution. Even ZEUS couldn’t fight the whole world. Besides, Alex had a tender affection for New York. It was his home, his birthplace, his hunting grounds. He felt at home in this sprawling maze of concrete, steel, and hidden nooks. But like every fledgling, he had to leave the nest sooner or later.

Flashing a bright teenaged smile at the passing pedestrians, Alex raised an eyebrow as some of them staggered away from him, screamed, or ran in terror. He was still a young girl, and his memories told him young girls were regarded with protectiveness and caring rather than terror. He looked around. There were no apelike Hunters on the sides of the building, no shambling hordes of Infected. Was it the extra tentacle he’d spawned to hold the groceries and the precious carton of eggs? That was probably it then. Alex sighed in disappointment. He’d been so careful to even mimic the same skin tone, but he’d been so focused on his upcoming trip, his higher functions had forgotten about the fact that humans only had two arms. His cover now effectively blown, Alex muttered a few curse words and sprang into the air, groceries still in hand.

The Blacklight virus couldn’t fly, but he came close. He could glide from skyscraper to skyscraper, and with effort, leap up a six-to seven story building. As he shot up the side of the building, still in disguise, Alex rolled his eyes in irritation. It was part of his sister Dana’s ongoing project to get him to emote more, and she encouraged him to use human expressions at every opportunity. Alex knew that this was an uphill battle because as a sentient virus he was, effectively, a sociopath, with minimal emotional connection to humans. But one cannot eat the minds of thousands and not absorb some measure of a conscience. So he made the effort, though he grumbled about it whenever he had the chance.

The citizens of New York had at this point become acclimatized to the sight of Alex Mercer, in various guises, gliding around the city, his figure clearly outlined against the sky. The patrols of Marines below operated on a similar school of thought. If ZEUS was merely travelling, they felt no need to invite his wrath. After all, cleanup crews were still picking pieces of Elizabeth Greene out of Times Square’s buildings.

So it was with great surprise that Mercer heard someone call out to him.

_Samantha Grace! Puella Magi! I didn’t know you were here._

Alex skidded to a stop on the top of some building, throwing up shards of concrete, so rapid was his halt. He’d heard a voice in his head, and the last person who’d done that was Greene, which did not bode well. Letting his biomass shift back to his default hooded form, the virus looked around warily, shifting his vision through normal and infrared spectrums.

 _Oh my. This is new._ A small white cat had appeared on the lip of the roof, and Alex could tell it was the source of the telepathy. He glared at it, apprehensive if it could explode into blades, tentacles, or tiny Blackwatch soldiers. The creature’s ears twitched as he stared at it in confusion. It had red eyes and a small fixed smile, a fluffy tail, and a cheerful voice. He loathed it immediately.

_This could be a productive experiment._

Alex cocked his head and transformed his hands into claws.

“Explain, cat. What are you and why are you in my head?”

The cat did not arch its back, glare, or hiss at him like all cats did when he transformed into the thing their feline brains emoted as Predator. Instead this cat remained motionless on the rooftop and its face did not change expression at all.

 _Truly, Alex Mercer, you are an enigma._ It mused. _I can see the surface thoughts of most humans, but yours are quite different to be sure._

As Alex stared at it in befuddlement, the groceries still held behind him by the gently moving tentacle which protruded between his shoulder blades.

_My name is Kyubey, and I am an Incubator._

Alex clenched his hands and carefully set the bag of groceries on the ground behind him. “An Incubator for what?”

_Potential, Mister Mercer. A potential you happen to have a great store of, and the source of which I am most curious to discover._

“I don’t think you will.” With a thought his spare tentacle speared outward and impaled the cat-like creature clean through, then swiftly drew it in to be consumed. Whatever the dammed thing was, Alex would know soon enough. Consuming was such a useful ability….Huh.

_Well you keep finding new ways to surprise us don’t you Alex Mercer?_

Alex turned on his heel and felt a shiver of confusion run through him. The cat was still alive, somehow. But he’d eaten it, devoured it with a hundred fleshy tendrils and- _An uncontracted creature with this much power might fill our entire quota in one fell swoop._ Mused the Incubator.

As it continued to chatter to itself about entropy and mass-to-energy ratios, the greater part of Alex tuned out as he furiously rifled through his memories. He’d consumed the creature, he’d felt it, but there were no memories. No memories he could see, which made him very worried. Alex Mercer had stumbled upon something none of the voices in his head nor his own experiences could explain. And that meant it was dangerous. Tuning back to the conversation, he glared at the white cat with icy blue eyes.

“Hey, Incubator, why did you call me, y’know in my head?”

The Incubator regarded him with a perpetually placid expression. Alex realized that it hadn’t changed its expression the entire time they’d been speaking.

 _I merely mistook you for someone else, is all._ The creature cocked its head. _You haven’t eaten Samantha Grace have you?_

Alex shook his head. “I don’t eat children.” It was one of his few ironclad rules.

_Good. Samantha is a valuable puella magi, I would hate to lose her to something like you._

Alex rifled through his memories, including a helpful college professor of history. “That’s Latin, isn’t it? It means magical girl.”

_Your knowledge and power is certainly impressive Mister Mercer. And this gestalt mind you hold is most intriguing to us. While we don’t normally do this, I am inclined to make an exception._

_Alex Mercer, make a contract with me, and become a magical girl!_

Alex unclenched his hands and turned away. “I’ll think about it Incubator. But first, I gotta deliver these.” He held up the groceries. “How about while we move, you explain the terms and conditions of this so called ‘contract’ of yours?”

Alex landed on the skyscraper’s roof with a thump and a cracking of cheap concrete.

“So I gain magical powers, become even more indestructible, put my soul into a shiny rock, and get one free wish?”

_And you have to fight Witches, don’t forget. You can’t see them now, but there are very many of them in this city. And with all the other Puella Magi evacuated or gone, these people are completely defenseless._

“And you expect me to help them for no gain, out of what, the goodness of my heart?” The virus snorted. “I don’t have a heart and I don’t care about these people. You need to work on your bargaining skills Incubator. And what good is a wish to me, anyway? I’m basically immortal, I can already take on the military’s best and they can’t stop me. What could I possibly have to worry about?”

_You worry about Dana Mercer._

Alex turned and extended a bladed implement before the Incubator had finished the sentence. His stance was predatory, and he radiated hostile intent.

“Don’t you fucking touch her. Don’t you dare.”

_We have no interest in harming Dana Mercer. Only that she is the sole amount of leverage over you any outside party could possess._

“They already tried that and I killed them all anyway. She’s safe now and she’s gonna remain that way. I don’t need to sleep and I’ll never die. If something, anything hurts her, I’ll destroy them before she can cry my name. “

_Your wish could protect her far better than you ever could._

“Bullshit.”

_With all the souls you possess inside you, Alex Mercer, you have an enormous amount of karmic destiny. If you made such a wish, Dana Mercer would live a safe, happy life and would never feel a moment’s distress or suffering. She wouldn’t even be afraid of you._

Alex nearly skewered the Incubator again, but knew it wouldn’t do any good. He settled for punting it off the roof and watching with satisfaction as the little white body sailed across the skyline of New York until it passed beyond his vision. Unfortunately when he blinked, the alien was once again next to him.

_I don’t have an infinite amount of bodies you know. If you keep doing that, it will become a drain on our entropy preservation reserves._

“It makes me feel better.”

Alex shifted his groceries from one arm to the other to cover his uneasiness. On one tentacle, he didn’t trust this Incubator as far as he could throw it, which might be across several county lines if he really put his back into it. Teenage girls might find the white alien cute, but Alex just found it unsettling. And annoying. Definitely annoying. On the other tentacle, it wasn’t like this domestic condition he’d settled into with Dana would last forever. Sooner or later someone with more authority than sense was going to want to bring in the mighty ZEUS and the tanks would roll out once more. And it absolutely galled him to admit it, but the Incubator was right. He couldn’t be there all the time for Dana and he did occasionally scare her when he came through the apartment by way of the window, or showed up after a late night hunt. He wasn’t even sure he had a soul anyway, so it wasn’t like he was giving up much. And he didn’t have much of a future planned out anyway. Still…He let the blade drop to his side and unfold into his seemingly human arm once more. “I’ll deliver these groceries Incubator, and then you’ll get your wish.”

Alex knocked politely on the door, feeling something indefinable twisting inside him that, for once, wasn’t one of his feeder tendrils. Regret? Apprehension? Guilt? He wasn’t sure. But when Dana opened the door, all those thoughts vanished and Alex Mercer, the Scourge of Manhattan, smiled, and stepped into a hug.

“You were gone for a little while longer than normal Alex, did something happen?” Dana frowned at him as she stacked the bread in the pantry. “You weren’t divebombing the Marines again, were you?”

Alex chuckled at the memory, though he still didn’t understand why she was angry about it. Nobody had even gotten maimed, and the videos had ended up all over YouTube. It was perfect.

“Sorry to disappoint Dana. I met someone interesting on the way home and they thought I was someone else, I couldn’t get away.”

Dana rolled her eyes. “You ate them didn’t you?” She shuddered slightly. “Sorry Alex, I’m still having a tough time getting used to that. Most of the time you seem so normal, you know?”

She gestured helplessly at Alex, who was cutting the salami into neat slices with his claws. He’d started the practice last week to gain more fine muscle control and Dana had found it too amusing for him to stop. He raised his eyebrows in confusion, wiggling the claw with attached salami. “This seems normal to you?”

“Now that you mention it, I guess it does.” Dana sighed and ran her hands through her hair. “I swear, if you’d told me a year ago that there’d be tanks on Park Avenue, my brother turned into a virus, and giant ape-things would live in the Bronx, I’d have told you to check your meds.” 

Alex shrugged. He’d been living that sort of life ever since he had woken up on a cold slab in Gentek, so normality was relative for him. 

“I guess it is pretty strange. Actually, if you’re so worried about that guy I met, you needn’t be. I didn’t kill them. They walked off. I guess I’m getting better at talking to people, so that’s something.”

Dana reached over and hugged Alex’s shoulders.

“Awww, look at you! Next thing you know, we’ll have Captain Cross over for coffee again.”

Alex squirmed in the hug. “You had to remind me, didn’t you?”

“Yes I did. And I’ll keep reminding you until you apologize.”

“He won’t care. He knows it wasn’t our fault.”

“Still it’s the proper thing to do.” Dana waved her hands at him in a shooing motion. “Now beat it Alex, I’ll make dinner, you go read encyclopedias or beat up Hunters, or something.”

Alex’s eyes softened and he waved a goodbye over his shoulder as he levered the window open, idly licking the last slice of salami off his claws. “See you in a bit Dana.” 

Alex’s leg muscles bulged with biomass and with a mighty leap, he rocketed across the street and towards the white patch of fur that was patiently waiting on the roof.

_Well, have you decided on a wish, Alex Mercer?_

Alex nodded and took a deep breath, even though he didn’t need to.

“Yeah, I guess I have.”

He planted his legs firmly and stared directly into Kyubey’s red eyes.

“I wish that Dana Mercer remain safe from all danger, never feel fear or terror again, and live her life in happiness and peace. Grant my wish, Incubator!”

The alien’s eyes glowed and the virus could swear that its eternal smile widened, just the tiniest bit.

Alex staggered to one side and his knees trembled as blindingly red light engulfed him. He’d been burned by nuclear fire, but it hadn’t hurt as badly as this. This burned inside of him, somewhere no blade or bullet could harm. His skin disappeared, replaced by writhing black tentacles as the light grew even brighter. The voices in his head rose to a crescendo, some screaming, praying, or even crying in joy. A round orb rose out of his chest and impulsively, Alex reached up to grasp it. Then he passed out. 

Alex Mercer woke up a few minutes later and stared around in momentary confusion, arms immediately bulging out into massive fists. There was no horde of Infected, or battalion of Blackwatch goons, so he was more or less safe. Then he remembered the Incubator and jackknifed to his feet. It was still sitting on the radiator in front of him, fluffy tail waving back and forth.

_Your wish has been granted, Alex Mercer. Now go forth and hunt witches!_

Alex nodded absently. “Yeah fluffball, I’ll get right on that.” Then he looked down. The scream of rage that resulted could be heard across most of Lower Manhattan. Soldiers and civilians looked up in fear,and Captain Cross looked up from his book with alarm. Whatever caused ZEUS to scream like that had to be bad news for New York City. And in a way it was. But in another way, it was the start of something new. Something different. Something magical. 

“WHY AM I WEARING A DRESS?”

Assorted plot seeds:

  * Alex eats Witches and finds they taste different than virus creatures
  * Grief seeds cutting down his hunger, just like they help heal Magical Girls.
  * Witches devouring the Infected in turn.
  * The Incubators try to drive Alex and his gestalt souls to despair, because Mad Energy Yo, which doesn't work. Alex doesn't despair, he gets angry and stupid.
  * Captain Cross sees Alex Mercer in a dress and needs to wash his eyes out with soap.
  * The video of Alex in a dress goes viral, again.
  * Alex swearing like a sailor when hurt, but local Magical Girls pick up the habit.
  * Alex meeting New York's Magi and getting protective.
  * Turns out magic and living viruses don't mix well.
  * Alex Mercer's death inadvertently saves the world as it destroys Walpurgisnacht.



**Author's Note:**

> You can tell what media I was consuming when I wrote this back in college. Another deeply stupid crossover between two properties that have no business connecting to one another, but it was fun to write. My favorite parts of super-human stories are the conjoining of the unusual with the domestic, which takes up most of this fic.


End file.
